All These Years
by Madz6
Summary: After a thousand years of reincarnation, Merlin begins to doubt whether Arthur really will return.


**A/N So i decided to write a modern fic. I don't know if it's any good so reviews are always appreciated ;)**

Merlin pulled up his hood in a feeble attempt to shield his face from the downpour. Barely any cars were on the road tonight although it didn't surprise him, at least not with the weather. He kept walking with his head against the hail. He looked to his left and saw the lake with the little island that had weathered out many a storm like this one, its waters being roughly spattered and swished in the wind. Walking past here had become something of a habit for the boy now. After one thousand years of being reincarnated over and over its difficult not to like simple routines like this, although the reason why he did it went so much deeper than force of habit. When the intensity of the hail went up another notch the young man broke into a run and took shelter beneath a low hanging willow by the lake's shore. He looked out across the fierce waters and thought about everything that had happened to him. Every day that he had lived without his best friend. Every life he had endured without Arthur.

_The king began to stumble, unable to walk any longer. He was so weak and vulnerable, nothing like the strong man Merlin knew him to be. He fell down as Merlin became desperate, trying to keep him moving. _

"_... Just hold me, please... there's...something I want to say." Arthur was giving up._

" _You're not going to say goodbye." Merlin was defiant, but his voice wavered as he choked back the tears that would inevitably fall in the end._

"_No, Merlin... everything you've done, I know now... for me, for Camelot... for the kingdom you helped me build." There was a heart breaking sense of finality in his voice. Merlin still didn't want to give up. He had to hold on, he can't die._

" _You'd have done it without me." Merlin knew this wasn't true. He had saved his life countless times before._

" _Maybe... I want to say something I've never said to you before... thank you." _

That was the day that everything changed. Arthur had died and left Merlin to face the world alone. He missed Arthur with all his heart but there was a fire inside him that refused to die. Arthur was dead but it still burned away gently, as though waiting for him to return. His logical sense denied him the hope that one day, Arthur could return but his magic, as strong as ever after so much time burned brighter at the thought of him. Maybe one day...

Merlin thought back at how much he had claimed to hate Arthur at times. Sitting beneath the willow tree with the hail still clawing at his back, he knew he would have given anything to be able to tell him he hadn't meant all the stupid names he had called him. He knew Arthur had been a total prat at times and no doubt sometimes he had wished that his destiny was different, but just to hear his voice right now... Merlin let a long hidden tear roll down his cheek. He had thought in time maybe his grief would fade. Yes, he was strong enough to push it to the back of his mind but not strong enough to forget. He could never forget. He didn't want to.

" _A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole"_ the dragon's words had always seemed like riddles to Merlin. Now, only when it was too late did he truly understand them. Arthur made him complete. They were two sides of the same coin, their destinies entwined since before they could talk but they only really knew each other when it was too late- When Merlin had finally told Arthur the truth about his magic. His heart clenched at the thought of what could have been if he had spoken up sooner. What could have been. Merlin barely thought of anything else but what might have happened. Had his destiny been set in stone? Had he failed Arthur? Or was it even truly over yet? Trapped in a world of his own, Merlin fell asleep beneath the willow and dreamt.

" _Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again." The voice of the dragon echoed through his head and he barely noticed the rest of his words. The haunting horror of what had happened was dawning on Merlin. Arthur was dead. Tears rolled endlessly down his dirt stained cheeks. For once, Merlin couldn't do anything to save his friend. He felt his agony a thousand times worse knowing that he would have to endure as long as he lived without Arthur. A terrible ache crept into his chest. It was no treatable ailment, for heartbreak had no cure. He felt as though a huge part of him had been ripped away and in its place a gaping hole filled with loneliness. Over time the hole began to heal but the scar of friendship never disappeared. Only when Merlin was complete once more would the scar truly heal. Deep down he knew, despite whatever the dragon had said, that he would never see the prince again._

If only he had known how wrong he was.

"Merlin" a voice pierced his hazy sleep. He felt the wetness of his jacket pressing against his back and instinctively pulled his thick red scarf tighter around his shoulders. He didn't want to wake up and face reality again, not yet. He let sleep lead him away once more, not feeling himself shivering. The voice spoke his name again. Still nothing. He was trying to let himself fall back into the blissful drift of sleep but he couldn't. The dull fire that had been simmering in the back of his mind had turned into an inferno, telling him to wake up.

"Get up you idiot, you'll freeze to death" The inferno exploded, leaving his mind in a state. Every inch of him wanted to open his eyes and react but in truth, he was too scared. He knew that voice anywhere and he guessed that he had known who it was when he first said his name so it wasn't doubt but fear. Fear that he would open his eyes and it would all have been a dream. Fear that he would get his hopes up and have them dashed all over again like the last time he had dreamt about his past. It hurt more than anything when he thought that maybe for once, it was all real and then to have it thrown back in your face when it isn't. This time, it felt real. He opened his eyes and saw the face that had been in his mind for a thousand years. Arthur. He was dripping with gleaming water that ran off his hair and down his cheek. The water mixed with the tears that were falling. He was crying. Merlin noticed with a start that he too had tears pouring down his face. Dream or not, he wanted it to last. " Arthur" he finally croaked out. The hug that came in reply was welcomed and it was then that Merlin knew that it was real. The scar that Arthur's death had left began to heal.

" You waited for me? All these years..." Arthur was amazed by everything that was happening. His best friend had never truly left his side after all.

" Arthur, I would wait forever for you."

The end

** I know its short but opinions? Please leave a review :)**


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